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I mean, I am uncomfortable with dramatic expressions of emotion. As a therapist, I’m supposed to be quiet and encouraging and not show discomfort at anything, and I was trying to do that, and I’d thought I was succeeding.
But apparently I was unconsciously projecting some kind of “I don’t like strong emotions, you’d better avoid those” field, and my patients were unconsciously complying.
We were both in the same training program, studying under the same teachers. In particular, all her patients had dramatic emotional meltdowns, and all my patients gave calm and considered analyses of their problems, as if they were lecturing on a particularly boring episode from 19th-century Norwegian history. I wish I could get my patients to have dramatic emotional meltdowns. I tried, I even dropped some hints, like “Maybe this reminds you of your father?
And then I had lunch with my friend, and she was like “It’s so stressful when all of your patients identify you with their parents and break down crying, isn’t it?
I wish I could say my supervisor’s guidance fixed the problem and I learned to encourage emotional openness just as well as my colleague.
But any improvement I made was incremental at best.
Everyone assumed that meant I was good at dealing with difficult cases, and must have read a bunch of books about how to defuse crises. Then a few days ago I stumbled across the Reddit thread Has Anyone Here Ever Been To An LW/SSC Meetup Or Otherwise Met A Rationalist IRL? I’ve always believed psychodynamic therapies are mostly ineffective, and cognitive-behavioral therapies very effective, because all my patients seem to defy the psychodynamic mode of having having weird but emotionally dramatic reactions to things in their past, but conform effortlessly to the cognitive-behavioral mode of being able to understand and rationally discuss their problems.
User dgerard wrote about meeting me in 2011, saying: His superpower is that he projects a Niceness Field, where people talking to him face to face want to be more polite and civil. I should admit nobody else has mentioned anything like this, and that narcissism biases me toward believing anyone who says I have a superpower. And the more I examine this, the more I realize that my results are pretty atypical for psychiatrists.
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